Who invented the blow job?

Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”

thecakebar:

How to Turn A Watermelon into a Keg

thunderpopcola:

This is how you lose her. 

You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.

You must remember when she forgets. 

You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.

She remembers when you forget. 

You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the  beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.

You must learn her. 

You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to. 

You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.

And, this is how you keep her.

I’m just BEAUTIFUL

happychomp:

Paleo Banana Bread

After starting the paleo diet, I started craving the exact foods I wasn’t allowed to eat. This is my first attempt EVER at making bread, and it turned out awesome!! I was extremely worried that my lack of experience would result in a brick of hard banana bread. But it wasn’t anything like that at all! In fact, it was perfectly moist and delicious to pair with some raw honey or almond butter. My kitchen was filled with the aroma of bananas as well.

Ingredients:

• 2 1/2 cups of mashed bananas
• 4 eggs
• 1/2 cup almond butter
• 4 tbsp coconut oil (can use grass-fed butter as well)
• 1/2 cup coconut flour (can use almond flour as well)
• 1 tbsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp vanilla
• pinch of salt

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Mix the bananas, eggs, almond butter, and oil into a bowl and mix well. I was lazy and used a food processer :3
3. Once you have combined all the ingredients, add in the coconut flour, cinnamon, baking soda, baking powder, vanilla, and see salt. Mix well
4. Pour the mixture into a 9x5 loaf pan and spread it evenly through. If you need to grease the pan, please do so before pouring in the mixture
5. Place in oven and bake for 35 minutes and start checking by inserting a toothpick into the center. If it comes out clean, it is ready. The total baking time should run from 40 - 60 minutes (if you want to make muffins, mini - 25 minutes and normal - 30 minutes)
6. Remove from oven, and flip the bread out onto a cooling rack
7. Slice and enjoy!

Inspiration: civilizedcavemancooking

delberticus:

If you make fun of people trying to better themselves at the gym you’re a piece of shit.

Agree first they make fun of you then they see results.. How did you do the haters ask? And you just turn your back on them and put your middle finger up ;)

ladyknucklesinshape:

motiveweight:

Over 60 core exercise demonstrations (all animated) - Spark People

finally!

berryhealthy:

train like an olympian | do each exercise intensely for 30 seconds. move onto each move with little or no recovery time in between. once you’ve completed all the moves (4 minutes total) take a 60-90 second break and repeat set 2 to 3 more times.